Honestly, it really would only take the tiniest little push in exactly the right direction to complete my transition into a classic Super Villain

When people with a British accent say "cycle path" it sounds like a subconscious confession that reveals the true nature of their souls.

One good thing about WFH is that you can be honest with your feelings about what you're working on.
Eg. " Oh my god I fucking hate this fucking shit."
And your boss & co-workers cannot hear you.

Is... is that .... a USB-powered Variable Voltage power supply?!?!?

YES, IT IS. AND IT IS MINE.

When you start your new job at a firm with a "Flat Management Structure"

Remember - if your employer buys you a diary, they own it. They can demand that you surrender it for inspection or permanently at any time. They can legally insist that you surrender it to them upon termination of your employment.

Ummm. Holy Shit.
A Tsunami Warning?!?

Well, that's a first.

An underwater volcano erupted near Tonga a little while ago.

Tonga is in a bad way right now, my friends.

Believe (verb). To trick your brain into thinking that something is real

Belief (noun. Something that you have tricked your brain into thinking is real

Fanatics: "Kill the Infidels who have not tricked their brains exactly the same way that we have!"

You remember a few days ago, when people in the USA were literally freezing to death in their cars, when traffic was stuck on a major highway during a snowstorm ... how many Republican voters tried to inject or drink their car's Anti-Freeze?

Dear IT Department,
When you make me change my password often, and you make me type it in 100 times per day, I WILL be writing it on a Post-It note and sticking it to my screen's border.

Today's spirit making adventure is AppleJack, which is a type of Brandy made from Apple Cider.
Ingredients:
* 10 Litres of the cheapest reconstituted Apple Juice from the supermarket
* 2 kg white sugar
* 5 grams of Wine Yeast

Output: 2.0 Litres of 50% ABV (alcohol by volume) Apple Brandy.

Verdict: delicious.

Imma run my Still this evenin'. This bad boy will take about 3.5hrs to trickle out 2.5L of 92% neutral vodka. Diluted down to 40% makes 6L of drinkable, tasteless vodka. Let it soak on some chips of oak (old whiskey/rum/port barrels that have been woodchipped) for 4 to 12 weeks and you've got yourself a nice drink. All up, the ingredients cost about 10 bucks.

The <insert name here> System is typical, insofar as it allows for any person, depending on how rich they are, do to more or less of whatever the fucking hell they want to.

DogProTip:
To communicate effectively with your canine friend, learn to speak Zombie.

1990's classic PC games: Command & Conquer and Red Alert - Remastered in 4K with all 3 Expansion Packs - currently on sale in the Steam Store until 06 January ... for the price of Smashed Avocado on Toast

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