@Posty being addicted to something like that IS innately selfish. It's an utterly shit situation for everyone.
I wanted to quit smoking for about 20 years before I actually managed it - but every time I tried and failed I told myself some comforting thing about how it probably wasn't so bad.
I doubled down on shit like it not being that bad because it was easier to live with that than repeated failure to quit.
Plus withdrawal makes you angry and I'd get mad at myself for being mad at people so I'd have a smoke to HELP THEM from having to deal with angry me. You make justifications because you're not in control.
Someone hiding my shit would have pissed me off too. If it was as easy as just going "OK I won't do this" we would have stopped a long time ago.
Someone trying to impose that from outside just reminds you how you're not in control. Add withdrawal mood swings and oh god no.
@mike because I’m an idiot and I want my mum not like
Not die, she weirdly insisted on a present for her bday... so
I did buy her a Birthday present last year of a Juul vape with original tobacco flavour.
She flat out told me it tastes and feels *exactly* like cigarettes... but won’t quit cigs because “it’s one of the few things I have left” for some weird fucking nostalgia kick. I’m not good with unreasonableness.
@Posty it's super hard to let go of that security blanket for something new. I know what she's feeling. It's unreasonable because reason isn't a factor here.
I remember the huge grasp of anxiety I had the first time I tried leaving the house without any smokes on me. It's a huge jump.
I carried around a pack with one cigarette in it for a month. Just so I knew I was still making a choice.
When you've had a habit like this that your life has revolved around for decades, change is terrifying.
@mike @Posty Addiction sucks donkeys. Just glad that mine is one that can be managed - and I say managed, not cured - through medical intervention. At least, it's working for me, and I've managed sufficient reduction to have positive health impacts.
What bugs me is that I had to ASK, never suggested. And asking is not easy.
Trying to help your mother - that's a lifeline thrown, but not taken. Which must be so frustrating.
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