Smiffi AZ Vaccinated Surgubben @grumpysmiffy@aus.social

@futzle Thank you. This work is not playing well with my MH. I'm not well enough self-managed to do a project this big on my own.

If anyone needs an all-round IT person/developer, remote working, full time, part time, casual, hit me up!

My brain is all over the place. Current work situation is just too fucked. Cannot process.

Dear tramadol, please hurry the fuck up and work.

As everything falls apart, and I go into full burn-out, emotions shut down, can't even appreciate the dogs - you know what the last thing is that I'm clinging to?

My entire world that is actually mine, right now, is my Finnish Duolingo. Still pure joy, or would be if I still had feels.

One thing I've gained from this experience is that, I guess my tolerance from long term addiction, now under control, is that I can pack away a bottle of wine and it in now way affects my ability to a) stay awake, b) work late.

When the seroquel kicks in, it will be another matter.

It's not hot for mental (work) focus though.

Fuck it, I'm going to sign off in an hour, so I'm hitting the seroquel. A good night's sleep would be wonderful.

Fuck, that's one hell of a piece of SQL to write. Will the fucking tramadol please kick in, so I can focus on this rather than my back?

3 Hours work to go. And I just remembered that I have a thermos of tea!

I haven't worked closely with other people since my Past Life, so before 2001.

I am now reminded of the best bit of working with other people - when I get to teach, and see results. Which is happening right now. And I have also developed a great rapport with said colleague. Right now, under huge pressure, it's keeping me going.

Can't decide whether I need my hat on or off.

I'm getting a bit tired of this. Switching between hot and cold like nobody's business.

Dawn. Silhouettes of gum trees with a black background, and an intense band of red - although my phone thinks it's more purple.

Good colleagues are the most precious of things. The intern/mentee/front end person was an absolute star, on this very trying day. I hope that I can keep my job so that I can help her grow.

So I have no idea if I still have a job tomorrow.

Fuckit. I'm having a wine break.

Well, my typing speed has gone through the roof. Let's just hope that the cognition keeps up.

If anyone wants to talk to me over the next few hours, just saying. Trying to keep my shit together.

It is a VERY weird feeling starting work at 1830, after - a day of work. Just hoping this sick carcass delivers. Waiting for a combination of prescription and non-prescription shit to kick in, to make this happen.

Love you alls, if I don't make it, and join the ranks of the unemployable...