Trying to find some, any, motivation to work - beyond having a deadline, getting paid, etc. Just. So. Wiped. Out.
Not sure if it’s exercise-related; think I’m now in a stable relationship with seroquel, so don’t think it’s that.
Trying to motivate myself with Goth Metal in the form of Sirenia*. There is always the risk of developing an artistic inferiority complex from the sheer talent of Morten Veland.
* Emmanuelle Zoldan vocals.
Of the things that seem to be improving since my recent medical incidents, it looks like my hair has started growing again. Oh, still with the receded hairline, but length-wise. Yeah, it’s great to get cognitive function back (and then some,) but if I can have long hair again, I can totally rock the middle-aged Goth Metal look.
More the skeleton body electric violin (which I have) than the flying-V guitar (which is the sign of a middle-aged crisis.)
Anyhows, a lot of weird shit has happened recently, still trying to unwind a load of it myself, but I think we’re about 99% positive stuff, I’ve been very sick, for a very long time, now I’m not (sick that is, not a long time,) and right now, I’m dangerous, and to myself, but highly self-aware, so not worrying about it, because I know what’s going on, and am accomodating.
…bugger in the local health system knows, and respects Fred - and seem a bit in awe of him. From my perspective, he’s a really nice guy to deal with, and I can recognise one hell of a professional. Who is probably better qualified than the shrink. (I’ve known a few nurses; my trust factor compared to anyone calling themself “Doctor” who isn’t a real one (ie: has PhD) is orders of magnitude apart.
Barring @TechnicalKO, who probably knows me better than anyone, I’ve managed to freak out pretty much my entire support team, but now there seems to be some acceptance. Saw my GP yesterday, NOT whilst manic, and could see him relaxing. Have a tele-consult tomorrow with a shrink, as part of my having caused another GP to hit the MH Panic Button (and bugger, I’m impressed - it works) with Fred. I’m not entirely sure what Fred’s qualifications are (I’m assuming an RN) but every last…
So, after a few years where getting over 15 hours of work into a week was like something to celebrate (8-12, and struggling, more the norm) - Clockify tells me that I’ve nearly hit 18 hours since Monday, my eyes are still pretty much OK, and I’ve still got this evening, and three more days to go. (I work 7/7, due to former incapacity.)
Nett result: can clear down debt, acquire some awesome kit that we’re all going to have fun with, and do a bit of micro-philanthropy.