The human was too psychologically scarred from his encounter with our vessel for us to release him back into his natural habitat, so we introduced him to our zoo.

But he’s alone, and we know from the humans’ broadcasts that they like company, so I’ve been sent back to Earth to obtain a companion.

And that’s how I found myself creeping around a back alley, holding a laser pointer and a small cage, calling, “Here, kitty kitty!”

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