Hey yeah they call it “hogwarts” because that’s what you get there if you’re not careful (audience boos) You fellas know what I’m talking about

[hearing the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world] haha yeah. women

short on money? there are halloween decorations inside all of your co-workers bodies. if you're not a coward

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fool's gold. dipshit's bismuth. aluminum of the chump. these are just a few of the minerals the "courts" have legally prohibited me from trafficking in.

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Our game came out today. It's a massive game for an Australian team, and a massive game for any indie team. We're all really proud of it. It's been 6 years in development.
It's out on consoles 6am local time, and out on PC at 5pm AEST.
Thanks for your support ❤️

“What goes up must come down?” For a long time this was true. But times have changed, and we must change with them. Introducing GRAVITY 2,

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The queen is the nation's grandmother, she personally gave birth to all of the boomers here. It was a weird period in British history, but once you understand that part of our history it helps to explain a lot. She's a sort of Queen Xenomorph to us

what these eggheads won't tell you is that putting metal in the microwave imbues it with both the Fire and Electric subtypes

Queen Elizabeth bursts out of Hell clutching the Sword of Lucifer, the Orb of Xaphan, and Adramelech’s severed head. The artefacts are rushed to the British Museum where the “Huzzah for Mumsy” exhibition raises £200 million in days. Every penny goes to bail out an oil corporation

Sorry Britons 🙅🇬🇧… won't be mourning Queen Lizzie ☠️☠️… the only Queen 👑 this man respects is the Queen of Air 💨 and Darkness🌚, QUEEN MAB, with whom I struck a terrible and 🔒unbreakable🔒bargain ❌❌ and to whom 2️⃣ more services are owed… please respect my choice 💯💯

not to be unnecessarily violent or confrontational but the people who invented infinite scroll should be crushed into a small cube until they are dead

I'm not owned. If you want to see a guy who is actually owned, check this out [I try to show you a mirror but show you a picture of myself by accident] ah fuck. Ignore that

quit my job today. this is so sad alexa uninstall microsoft outlook and microsoft teams. alexa annihilate computer from orbit

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the purpose of all laws is the creation of criminals

strongly relate to The Sandman because I am also the useless, sucky little baby protagonist of my own personal narrative

Our beautiful dog is going increasingly deaf as she heads into her 13th year. This means my words of encouragement have become correspondingly louder to compensate. Which is why I now find myself yelling "WOW! GREAT POO!" at the top of my voice in the backyard on a regular basis

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#OtD 30 Aug 1908 union officials of the United Mine Workers called off a strike by Black and white coalminers in Birmingham, Alabama, after the army was sent in. Workers fought on but were attacked by press and racists and were sadly defeated. Learn more: libcom.org/history/birmingham-

lifehack: you can save a lot of time by looking at the front of the box the puzzle comes in to see what the final product will look like. if you like what you see, no need to put the pieces together really. just something to think about

Hell yeah I eat a lot of MSG


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