@Posty being addicted to something like that IS innately selfish. It's an utterly shit situation for everyone.
I wanted to quit smoking for about 20 years before I actually managed it - but every time I tried and failed I told myself some comforting thing about how it probably wasn't so bad.
I doubled down on shit like it not being that bad because it was easier to live with that than repeated failure to quit.
Plus withdrawal makes you angry and I'd get mad at myself for being mad at people so I'd have a smoke to HELP THEM from having to deal with angry me. You make justifications because you're not in control.
Someone hiding my shit would have pissed me off too. If it was as easy as just going "OK I won't do this" we would have stopped a long time ago.
Someone trying to impose that from outside just reminds you how you're not in control. Add withdrawal mood swings and oh god no.
@mike because I’m an idiot and I want my mum not like
Not die, she weirdly insisted on a present for her bday... so
I did buy her a Birthday present last year of a Juul vape with original tobacco flavour.
She flat out told me it tastes and feels *exactly* like cigarettes... but won’t quit cigs because “it’s one of the few things I have left” for some weird fucking nostalgia kick. I’m not good with unreasonableness.
@Posty it's super hard to let go of that security blanket for something new. I know what she's feeling. It's unreasonable because reason isn't a factor here.
I remember the huge grasp of anxiety I had the first time I tried leaving the house without any smokes on me. It's a huge jump.
I carried around a pack with one cigarette in it for a month. Just so I knew I was still making a choice.
When you've had a habit like this that your life has revolved around for decades, change is terrifying.
Because we’ve tried to maintain a smoke-free environment for our son, she feels justified in attacking my parenting at every step.
We all read the SIDS leaflet, but because it had “smoke-free” in it, she just put the baby face down and then put me down for freaking out. And then it was just on for ALL my parenting. At one point I thought she wanted me dead.
@Tarale @Posty yeah hey, not trying to say there can be no other issues or apologise for any and all behaviour here - just that a lot of the way she's apparently reacting to the smoking stuff is pretty familiar to me and I did a lot of things I regret as a result of addiction. But it's not a "get out of jail free" card by any means.
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