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Company-wide reply-all email chain.

What a way to start Friday.

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Colleague, in the process of trying to switch off a phone, has managed to accidentally call emergency services.

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I have been instructed to send an all-staff email.

*slams head into desk with the force of a thousand suns*

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"Hey Matt, there are people that would like new headshots done. Are you able to organise that?"

"Sure, give me a list of names and I'll get it sorted"

"Just send an all-staff email"

NO. FUCKING NO. NO.

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IF PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU THEY WOULD LIKE PHOTOS CAN YOU JUST WRITE THEIR FUCKING NAMES DOWN? IS IT THAT HARD?

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GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU PEOPLE ARE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE THIS FRIDAY FEEL LIKE A MONDAY.

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Absolutely 100 per cent fucking off early I am not dealing with this shit.

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@liamvhogan The one thing I really liked about my old job was using Gmail. Muting that shit took zero effort. I have no fucking idea how to do that in Microsoft Outlook Corporate Email Service 365 2020.

@MattHatton related, there is a profound social division between type A workplaces where every now and then someone sets of a ‘RE: RE: Re: Your Boat Gently Down The Stream’ chain of shit, and type B workplaces where people use slack and pass tasks to each other with Jura (or whatever the latest whatever is). They will never talk to each other

@liamvhogan I once worked in a place that did *both*.

You got the RE: RE: RE: FWD: RE: and "Jared has assigned you a task in JIRA would you like to see it?"

@MattHatton so glorious. [shouting at the air] ‘How do I log into this’

@MattHatton old mate waiting for the nearest young person or woman to walk past and shouting ‘where’s my folders on the hard drive’

@MattHatton @liamvhogan Muting company-wide noise has been disabled by your administrator.

@stibbons @liamvhogan If this is the case, my administrator is within hitting distance so beatings will continue until morale improves.

@stibbons @liamvhogan @MattHatton We get weekly Office 365 Analytics emails ("How productive were you last week?") which I can't unsubscribe from and I tried to set up a rule to auto delete them but it conflicts with an upstream rule from the mail admins which says we can't delete.

@pelagikat @liamvhogan @MattHatton Now I'm wondering how productive my 45701 unread emails make me.
@pelagikat @stibbons @liamvhogan @MattHatton why, why, why
I'd recommend not actually reading your emails there, and just auto-forwarding to another address where you can set up rules.
...but only if you're allowed to try to do that.

@pelagikat @stibbons @MattHatton once a fortnight I get an email demanding I do an online induction for security purposes for a job my company got sacked from last year. The login doesn’t exist, the works are complete, it’s all done. It makes me so happy every time

@MattHatton Get the Shooters Party involved in the "headshots"...

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