Ummm....if your "how to substantially increase your audience on social media without spending a cent" advice is so shit hot....why have you paid to make sure I see it....?

It appears I am once again in a battle of wills with the office air-conditioning.

It wants me to freeze to death.

I do not want to do that.

Matt H boosted

Not entirely sure what I did to deserve that honour, but....yeah.

Go chemtrails, I guess.

Sweet. There's a new Agenda 21 account on

You're all fucking hilarious, but the good news about it being Wednesday and not Thursday is that I get paid today and in this capitalist society that entraps us all, getting paid a fucking good thing.


I thought it was Thursday for a moment there.

Matt H boosted

Tonight's gender is one foot out of the blankets and one foot inside

Did I fact check my headline? No.

Did I at least run spell check over the body of the piece? Also no.

did I actually include six?I didn't bother to go back and count.

Yes, one of them in Microsoft Golf shut the fuck up.

I wrote something incredibly dumb about video games I played as a kid that need to come back because video games 20 years ago fucking owned:

I need to go and shower, but the child is in bed and I’m laying down on the couch and the prospect of having to get up is...not an appealing one.

Dinner tonight was rissoles (both just straight up and “bbq” flavour, from the butcher, delicious), carrot, green beans and potato.

Simple, but it hit the spot and even the child ate without complaint, which is not a thing that occurs regularly at the moment.

SEO is another of those "big data/machine learning/AI is bullshit" things, now I think about it.

They're not even good words. They SEO words. The worst words.

I have written too many words this afternoon.

Matt H boosted

Create a Stephen King adventure for your #TTRPG campaign!

"It was a nice day, until someone found an evil [THING] inside a [THING], and then TEH HORRORS!"

Place: Roll 1d6
1-5 = Maine
6 = somewhere else

Number of main Characters: Roll1d6
1-5 = 4 boys/men
6 = 1 man

Profession of main character: Roll 1d6
1-5 = Writer
6 = Roll again

How it ends: Roll 1d6
1-5 = Completely unrelated to the thousand of pages you just read.
6= Roll again

One day I will work out how people are getting to work's website through the search term "Peppa Pig Height".

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