We'd be in a much better position today, as a country, if the PM had secretly become Minister for Getting in the Sea last year.
It's never too late to #AppeasePoseidon though!
This tragic event could not have happened if the Prime Minister was in the sea today, cradled in Poseidon's arms.
For the safety of every child in Australia, the Prime Minister must get in the sea!
#AppeasePoseidon now. Please, think of the children!
We've seen the Committee to Appease Poseidon described as a "single issue" organisation. This could not be further from the truth.
We are a SINGLE SOLUTION group. All the ills that plague us can be solved if the Prime Minister gets in the sea.
We must #AppeasePoseidon now.
Unlike a submarine, our Prime Minister could be launched into the sea without any expensive or specialised facilities.
Australia has approximately 12,000 beaches, any one of which could be used to rapidly deploy our Prime Minister into the sea at short notice.
In adjusted values, houses in Australia are five times more expensive now than they were 50 years ago. This could be directly attributable to our Prime Minister failing to go into the sea since 1967.
If we want affordable housing, we must #AppeasePoseidon now.